Confidence
by xxJennLynn
Summary: Sometimes the unexpected can change you into a better person. Roger Davies/OC and a bit of Oliver Wood/OC


**A/N:** Heey! So, this if my first story. Please don't beat my up if it isn't that good. But anyway, onward to the story!

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Confidence.

A_ Harry Potter _Story

By: xxJennLynn

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I walked with my head held high. Confidence was my downfall. I didn't let it bother me though. It was my secret to keep. It never occurred to me before, being like this and all. I never rethought my decisions, thinking that what I did would always be the best for me. I always thought that I knew myself inside and out. But I was wrong.

In fact, I didn't know myself at all. My life was a sham. It wasn't my fault though, really. It's not like I could be taught how to recognize myself or to know what truly makes me happy. I didn't know anything, until now that is. I had never realized how terrible I'd felt when I stepped on people like I had. I never realized how utterly insane I had become. I never realized that I was pregnant until it was too late.

It was three months after I had broken up with Roger Davies. The symptoms hadn't kicked in until a month after the baby was conceived. Within that month I had dumped Davies and started going out with Oliver Wood. He was not only the quidditch captain of my house, but a beyond fit athlete. He was also a nice guy. But him going out with me was like a child playing fire. I was dangerous.

After two months of pregnancy I had begun to have morning sickness. I ignored it, thinking I had some kind of muggle virus. I had taken potions, but nothing seemed to help. I later found out that those potions could have killed the baby. Every morning when I threw up I took it as a good sign. It meant that I could loose weight. Back then, that's all I cared about: looks and status. I was never one to be liked for personality.

The third month I was finally fed up with the throw up and went to see Madam Pomfrey. She took numerous tests and even a blood sample. They all came back clear. But after three hours she finally came back with a single question that, in my opinion, changed the rest of my life for good. I was shocked, to say the least.

"Are you sexually active?" she asked, her voice low.

I couldn't do anything but nod. With that she took some more tests. These ones were very different from the others though. She had resorted to using muggle devices. They definitely didn't hurt as much, but I knew that this might have a more painful outcome. It turned out that I was pregnant- three months along too. My head was spinning. I felt dizzy. I didn't want to think about it. I completely blacked out.

Two hours later I found out that I had passed out from the shock of being told I was pregnant. Madam Pomfrey them discussed my options. I knew fully well what I could do, I've heard about Sex Ed in muggle schools. But I listened nonetheless. For some reason, I cared about this child that wasn't even my boyfriend's.

I knew I had to tell Oliver that I was pregnant. I knew I had to tell my parents that I was pregnant. I knew that I had to tell Roger I was pregnant. I just didn't know how. It's not like I could just go to dinner and announce my pregnancy with a child whose father I had left three months ago. I also couldn't just go up to my boyfriend during quidditch practice and straight up say, "Hey, love, I can't be the seeker anymore because Roger Davies, yeah, that guy that I left for you, knocked me up." It was impossible. So, I started with the person I felt it was easiest to tell. Besides, he had the right to know.

The day after I found out, I sought out Davies in the Great Hall. I told him I needed to speak with him when I finally found him sitting with his mates at the Ravenclaw table. He had that all-knowing smirk that I hated so much. I suppose he thought that I was going to tell him that I wanted to get back together and to kick Oliver to the curb. He never expected me to drop the 'I'm pregnant' bomb on him. He was so clueless.

I whispered the words no seventeen year old male would want to hear. His first instinct was to laugh and to say that it was just a joke. Denial is a bloody bitch, isn't it? I told him to shove it and that he was a Ravenclaw, he should be able to figure it out. He still didn't believe me. He was fuming, telling me that the joke wasn't funny anymore. I pressed on. It wasn't a joke; I wasn't going to let him think it was any further. He was being a down right prick. Couldn't he just accept that life isn't as perfect as it seems?

I guess I shouldn't be talking either. I was, after all, the 'it' girl. I used to go around school thinking 'Hey, I'm popular, I can do whatever I want.' I used to bring people down just to get myself a little higher. Torture was like a drug that I was addicted to. It was unhealthy, for me and the baby. It could get me in some deep trouble. I didn't need that stress with a growing child in my abdomen.

Addictions were also a habit. It seemed like I was addicted to everything. I was addicted to the heartless feeling I had whenever I pushed someone down. I was a bully at best. I was addicted to the happiness I felt, knowing that every guy wanted me. I was a human Barbie doll. I was addicted to the cool blade that dug into my skin-_ from yours truly, pregnancy_. I was Example A of pregnancy depression gone wrong. I was addicted to my own euphoria in quidditch. I was desperate and shameless to say the least.

I told Oliver next. He didn't take it well. When I uttered the two words I dreaded to say, he knew right away it wasn't his. We had never done the dirty. He was calm, in an angered kind of way. He then proceeded to ask who the father was. I told him. He instantly figured out that I was pregnant since we started going out. He was crushed.

He wouldn't speak to me or even hear me out. All he did was turn the other cheek and walk away. The next day I approached him again and asked what was going to happen. He then said that he couldn't be with me anymore. He couldn't be with a girl that was having another guy's baby. Besides, he said, it would mess up his quidditch career. I couldn't help but despise him after that. He couldn't even play the caring boyfriend role for another month or so. Once I tell my family, I wouldn't have cared if I had someone to be with me through these nine months of hell. He was being selfish. I was being selfish. We both had our own priorities in life that didn't involve each other.

On May tenth, I found out my baby was a girl. I was elated. The entire day I was full of joy. I didn't even think of Oliver, Roger, or even not telling my parents yet. I couldn't care less at the point in my life. I was having a girl. That was when I knew it. I wasn't going to give up on this baby. I also wasn't going to give up on myself. I was going to stop with my slitting and my addictions. I was going to keep this baby and raise her up as a civilized woman. I was going to teach her to not crave attention. She will be taught to have self respect and dignity. She will not be me.

When I was ten, I remember planning my wedding and my future children's names. I remember liking the name Guinevere and Ginevra at the time. I apparently really liked G names. That was, of course, before I read Camelot and before I met Ginny Weasley. Ginny was fine and all, I just didn't like her good girl attitude. Although, now that I look over it, I appreciate her for it. It takes guts to stay true to morals with the hierarchy of Hogwarts that was put into place because of me. I just realized how much of an insolent fool I really am.

Athena Isabella McClure. I decided on this name while studying Greek gods in muggle studies. I thought that the named Athena was really pretty. Then Isabella came from my cousin. She was the only one I told. She was the only one I was certain would help me through this. Her baby that died in her womb was going to be named Isabella. But I also had a goal with the name. The initials spelled out AIM. I meant this as in, aim to reach your goals. Aim for the better path in life. Aim for a good future. Aim for a life that was better than mine.

I told my parents on July fourth. They were fairly off their rockers at the moment, so all they said was congratulations and to next time use protection. I was appalled at how they worded it. It was said a little more differently, mind you. It was quite vulgar actually. It was something I never expected to fall out of my parents' mouth. It was the sentence that meant nothing to them the next morning. It's not like they could remember anyway.

Again, I tried. This time, I actually wished that they would have said those awkward words instead. They yelled, screaming until their lungs grew too sore to speak. They thrashed around. Mum broke her favorite vase. Dad broke his hand. They cried. But then finally, they kicked me out.

I had no where to go. I had no boyfriend, no family, and a starving baby in my stomach. So I apparated to the one place I had grown so accustomed to that I could call it home. Now, it was my home. I knocked on the gates. They never opened. I willed myself to enter the building. The anti-apparation walls were too powerful. I cried, those damn hormones kicking in. I didn't want to die. I especially didn't want my baby to die. It needed food, I needed food. Then, an airy voice asked with wonder, "What are you doing there, child?" Dumbledore was my only hope.

I explained to him what happened. I cried and screamed and punched. My violent actions were aimed at a tree nearby. I wasn't fit to be a mother. I couldn't even find a decent place to live. I couldn't even feed my daughter correctly. This was the first time I had ever questioned myself. This was the first time I had ever thought about seriously giving up on this baby that was growing inside of me. This was also the last.

Dumbledore welcomed me to Hogwarts with open arms, much like in my first year. He let me stay wherever I wanted. There were only a few teachers due to it being summer. Months passed by slowly. The aching in my back and feet never stopped. When the students came back to school in September I was safely hidden in a secret chamber. House elves were sent to bring me platters of food and tend to my every need. I do have to admit, I always felt rather guilty for telling the poor creatures what to do.

December was fast approaching once I realized it was already November thirtieth. Athena was due on the first. My head was spinning. I couldn't stop thinking about raising a child all by myself with no family or money. It was only Hogwarts and me. Hogwarts and me forever will be, as I liked to say. This insanity was driving me crazy. I was going to have a daughter tomorrow.

At two in the morning, my water broke. I ran quickly out of my room to the hospital wing. Well, I waddled quickly. Everyone was asleep, so I couldn't get a house elf to alert Madam Pomfrey or anything. I screamed in pain as the first contraction hit me. A couple that was hiding in a corner, probably thinking I Filch or someone at first, jumped out with their wands raised. It turned out to be Roger and one of his whores.

His eyes saw that it was me and quickly picked me up to carry me the rest of the way to the hospital wing. He was in Ravenclaw, he obviously knew what was happening. Right before we left, I caught a glimpse of his girlfriend's extremely peeved face. Obviously she didn't care that I was about to give birth here.

That day I gave birth to my daughter, Athena Isabella McClure. That day Roger changed his ways and presented me with an emerald ring with two diamonds on each side. I was quite surprised that he knew that I wouldn't want a traditional engagement ring. That day I was engaged to Roger Davies. Although Athena's initials wouldn't be AIM anymore, we'd have a full family, with me, my soon-to-be husband, and our darling Athena. And that's all I needed.

Eleven years later, Athena Isabella Davies climbed aboard the famous scarlet train that her parents had once been in. She arrived at the school that her parents had fallen in love in. She joined the quidditch team that both her parents had been on, though in different houses. And as she soared in the sky, searching for the practice snitch, she though about her parents that still loved each other to this day, despite their rocky relationship in Hogwarts. Roger and Aurelia Davies both had reputations in Hogwarts. Both also changed their ways.

"I love you Mum and Dad," Athena whispered with a sad smile on her face. She didn't know what may lie ahead for her in her life in Hogwarts, but she couldn't imagine it being anything like her parents'. She had heard so many stories about this school, so as the sorting hat was placed on her head, she grinned. And as she walked to the Gryffindor table, her head held high, she was glowing with pride. Confidence was _not_ her downfall.

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